Dulce et Decorum est pro Patria Mori
DULCE ET DECORUM EST PRO PATRIA MORI
I have just been surfing the web. As so often, I end up feeling irritated. I could start exploring reasons for my irritation, such as slowness, and if only I had broadband, and so on. STOP. This is the game of establishing negative feedback. By justifying negative thoughts and feelings, I strengthen them. Very soon I may end up trashing my computer and swearing I will never go near the internet again!
The real basis for such feelings is culture and upbringing. I am not conditioned for liesure and patience; I am conditioned for speed, ambition, competitiveness, and achievement. That is most often the root of my disatisfactions.
So, to re-inforce that disatisfaction, is to die for my country! I choose not to die.
So, whatever I might feel, when I rise from a session at the computer, I make a conscious effort to look for things that were good about the experience, and I focus on them: "I'm really glad I found such-and-such a website, it was really interesting/helpful", etc etc. Finally I say, "I'm really glad I do not have broadband and the internet is slow, because it is teaching me patience, and I need to learn patience."
With a bit of persistence I will begin to feel good on the internet, and to enjoy its quirky nature.
This idea of 'looking for the good' is what is behing religious exhortations to 'thnk God for his gifts'. Our culture has developed the habit of criticism. We always 'look the gift-horse in the mouth', and it is considered clever to be able to spot what is wrong with it. But this just creates negative feeling and kills our joys. So we need to develop the habit of saying, "thank you", and looking for the good in everything.
I have just been surfing the web. As so often, I end up feeling irritated. I could start exploring reasons for my irritation, such as slowness, and if only I had broadband, and so on. STOP. This is the game of establishing negative feedback. By justifying negative thoughts and feelings, I strengthen them. Very soon I may end up trashing my computer and swearing I will never go near the internet again!
The real basis for such feelings is culture and upbringing. I am not conditioned for liesure and patience; I am conditioned for speed, ambition, competitiveness, and achievement. That is most often the root of my disatisfactions.
So, to re-inforce that disatisfaction, is to die for my country! I choose not to die.
So, whatever I might feel, when I rise from a session at the computer, I make a conscious effort to look for things that were good about the experience, and I focus on them: "I'm really glad I found such-and-such a website, it was really interesting/helpful", etc etc. Finally I say, "I'm really glad I do not have broadband and the internet is slow, because it is teaching me patience, and I need to learn patience."
With a bit of persistence I will begin to feel good on the internet, and to enjoy its quirky nature.
This idea of 'looking for the good' is what is behing religious exhortations to 'thnk God for his gifts'. Our culture has developed the habit of criticism. We always 'look the gift-horse in the mouth', and it is considered clever to be able to spot what is wrong with it. But this just creates negative feeling and kills our joys. So we need to develop the habit of saying, "thank you", and looking for the good in everything.
posted by joan @ 7:29 AM
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